I Won't Let Her Touch You
by Delicate Ice Lilly
Summary: Soubi promised Ritsuka he wouldn't do anything about his mother, but what will he do if she leaves his beloved loveless on the brink of death
1. Chapter 1

"Get out of here!" Ritsuka's mother yelled, hurling another plate at his head. "You shouldn't have even been born! You were suppose to have been a miscarriage!" she shrieked as she repeatedly sliced at him with a steak knife.

He fell to the ground, gasping for breath, and waited for her to tire out. It had seemed like years, before she, finally collapsed from exhaustion. Ritsuka struggled to get his phone out of his pocket, and hit the first number on his speed dial.

"Soubi," Ritsuka began, before the older of the two even had a chance to say, 'hello.' "I need you to get over here, fast."

"On my way, Ritsuka, stay on the line, please." Soubi was worried, he sounded worse than he'd ever been before.

The beatings have gradually been getting worse and worse, lately. He sounded like he could hardly breath.

"But, Soubi, I'm tired. Can't I just tell you where I am, and go to sleep?"

"No, Ritsuka. What ever you do, don't go to sleep!"

"Why not? I-I'm just so-so tired," he said between raspy breaths.

"Just hang on a little longer, I'm almost there."

"Come in through the front door, I'm in the kitchen."

"Alright, I'm coming up to the door, now."

"Okay, I love you, Soubi," he whispered as his breaths became more and more labored.

"I love you too."

There was no reply.

There was nothing except for Ritsuka's struggled breathing.

"Ritsuka! Ritsuka!" Soubi called. "Ritsuka, answer me!"

Soubi panicked, and nearly broke the door down. He ran into the kitchen and scooped up the small, bloody, unconscious boy.

He carried him up the stairs, laid him on the bed, and began to treat the wounds he could see. A majority of which were on his arms, lower legs, and ankles. The rest were obscured by his clothing.

"Soubi," Ritsuka muttered, opening his eyes.

"Ritsuka. Ritsuka, I can't let you stay here any longer," Soubi whispered, desperately. "Please, come and live with me."

"Soubi, can we discuss this later? I need to finish treating my wounds."

"Alright, but let me treat your wounds for you."

"No. There's a whole bunch on my upper legs and chest and back," Ritsuka blushed at the thought of Soubi seeing him like that.

"Please, Ritsuka, if you won't let me protect you, at least let me heal you."

Ritsuka sighed and nodded, knowing this was an argument he wouldn't win.

"Thank you, Ritsuka," Soubi smiled, sadly.

Then, he carefully began to remove his shirt and began to treat the wounds on his chest, then his back, and legs.

"All done," Soubi smiled. "Please come back to my house, if only to ensure you get enough sleep and your stitches stay in?"

"Fine, no promises about after tonight though."

"Understood."

Soubi redressed Ritsuka, and scouped the boy up in his arms. He carried him outside, via the balcony. It was late out, by this point, plus it was the middle of winter, plus the blood he had lost, left Ritsuka to burry into Soubi's chest for warmth.

"Are you cold?" Soubi asked.

"I'll be fine, we're almost at your house, anyway. Are Kio and the Zero's still staying with you?"

"Not at the moment. The Zero's had to go to Seven Voices and Kio is visiting relatives for the week."

Ritsuka nodded, relieved no one would see him in his injured state. After they walked a little bit farther, Ritsuka fell a sleep against Soubi's chest.

When they arrived at Soubi's house, Soubi carried him inside, and laid him down on his bed. Soubi knew, in spite of everything, given the choice, he would continue to live with that woman, and there was nothing he could do to change his mind. Just treat his wounds, and comfort him.

_No, _he thought to himself. _I can't just sit here and watch anymore. I have to report her. _

Soubi double checked that Ritsuka was sleeping, before walking over to the phone. He dialed the number of the police.

"Hello this is the local police, can we help you?" the receptionist on the other end asked.

Hello, I'd like to report a case of child abuse."

"Where?"

Soubi gave them Ritsuka's address.

We'll be over in a bit to talk to him."

Soubi glanced at the clock it was only seven p.m.

_It feels so much later, _he thought.

"He's not at home," Soubi told the woman.

"Where is he?"

"My house. I found him bruised and bloodied, so I took him in."

"Okay, we'll trace your number and be there shortly."

"Thank you, and can you keep me anonyms? He doesn't know I'm calling you."

"Yes, that won't be a problem," the woman hung up.

Soubi put the phone down and turned back to where Ritsuka lay. "I'm sorry," he whispered to Ritsuka.

**(A/N): I hope you've enjoyed this**

**I'm considering continuing this let me know in a review if you want me to or not**


	2. Chapter 2

When Ritsuka came to, he was in a hospital, with various tubes, chords, wires, and machines hocked up to him.

"Soubi," he called in a panic as the realization of where he was sunk in.

"Shhh. Its alright, Ritsuka," Soubi told him from where he sat next to him, as he grabbed his hand and caressed his cheek.

"What happened? Why am I in a hospital?" Ritsuka was frantic, partly hysterical.

"Someone called the police on your mother, they found you at my house. When they asked what happened, I'm sorry, Ritsuka, but I told them. a woman from social services is outside, waiting to talk with you."

Ritsuka stared at the wall his face completely void of all emotions.

"Ritsuka, please, tell her what happened."

He remained silent.

" please," Soubi continued to plea for me. I just want to help."

Ritsuka looked over, and, upon seeing Soubi looking so desperate, he grudgingly complied.

"But everything better turn out okay."

"It will, I promise. Now I have to go while she talks to you." Soubi stood up and left the room, as a brown haired woman, dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt, extremely casual, for a social worker entered the room.

"Hello, Ritsuka. I am Emily Rose, your case worker, but you can just call me Emily. So let's get started. Soubi was your brother's friend, yes?"

Ritsuka nodded.

"And Seimei, he died, correct?"

Ritsuka nodded.

"Your father, where is he?"

"We don't know. I haven't seen him for months, and even when he is around he's always drunk."

"I'm sorry. Will you tell me how you got injured?"

Ritsuka looked at the wall.

"Did your mother do this to you?"

He nodded.

"Okay, that's enough for the day. I'll let you rest. If you need anything Soubi has my number." she stood and left the room "You know, since you got here, he hasn't once left your side." she added before she shut the door behind her. "Alright I'm done. You can go back in." she told Soubi.

He walked in "Are you feeling any better?"

"They're going to take her to jail," Ritsuka whispered. "This is my fault."

"Ritsuka."

"Why did I lose my memory? If I hadn't none of this would have happened."

"Ritsuka that's not true."

"Name one person I've helped."

"Me."

Ritsuka's head jerked over to look at him.

"How you showed me what love really is. You gave me hope. You made me feel human." He sat down next to Ritsuka. "Ritsuka if it weren't for you, I'd still be mindlessly fallowing orders, like a dog, unable to think for myself."

"You would have figured it out eventually."

"No, I wouldn't have, Ritsuka, you saved me."

"No, its my fault."

"Ritsuka."

He didn't reply.

"Ritsuka,"

A tear dripped down his cheek.

Soubi reached out and wiped it away.

"Everything's my fault," Ritsuka said, his eyes out of focus, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his own mouth was moving. "Things would be easier if I just died."

Soubi's eyes widened, knowing very well where this was going.

"I should just kill myself."

"No, Ritsuka you can't," Soubi pleaded. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd get over it," he replied, monotone.

"No, I wouldn't," Soubi insististed. "Ritsuka, you are my everything. My one and only love. If you killed yourself, you'd kill me right along with you."

"No Soubi! You can't die!" Ritsuka said, suddenly snapping back to reality, tears streaming down his face.

Soubi gently wrapped his arms around the boy and pulled him to his chest "Then promise me you won't kill yourself. Live. Be safe. Don't do this."

"Soubi," he whispered against his chest "don't try to make me think I'm needed, because if you say it, I'll fall for it, even though I know it isn't true."

"But its true. More people need you than you can possibly understand."

"Like I said earlier, they'd all get over it eventually."

"I wouldn't."

"Yes you would! You'd miss me for a while then you'd forget me! Everyone would."

"I could never forget you, Ritsuka."

"Yes, you will you all will you can say you would remember me, but once I'm gone, you'll forget me, everyone will."

Soubi lightly pressed a kiss to Ritsuka's forehead "Ritsuka, you're not going to be forgotten. I won't let you disappear."

"Soubi," Ritsuka clung to Soubi's chest, allowing the tears he had held in for so long to finally flow freely down his cheeks.

Soubi held the boy tightly, gently rubbing his back. Once Ritsuka had cried his fill, Soubi spoke up "I'm trying to talk them into letting you move in with me."

"But then I cant go home."

"Ritsuka they wouldn't let you go back to that house anyway, not with her acting like that at least."

More tears began to flow down his cheeks.

"Its okay, Ritsuka, everything will be alright."

Ritsuka quit crying much quicker this time, but still clung to Soubi.

There was a knock at the door, shortly after.

"Sorry to bother you, but my boss wants me to talk to you some more, Soubi. Is that okay?" Emily asked from the doorway.

"Of course, do you mind if we do it in here though? I'm just going to tell Ritsuka everything that's said anyway."

"If you prefer," she sat down in one of the chairs provided for visiters. "Alright Mr. Agatsuma you just purchased a three bedroom house?"

"Yes." Soubi nodded "I'm almost done moving out of my apartment already."

Ritsuka listened intently without turning or releasing his grip on Soubi.

"Ritsuka would you like to live with Soubi?" Emily asked gently.

Ritsuka looked up. "If I can't go back home to make sure mother's okay, then yes but you guys have to make sure she doesn't hurt herself or get lonely and that she takes her medicine."

"Of course. Soubi, can I talk to you outside for a moment."

Soubi hesitated, "I'll be right back. Stay here," he told Ritsuka.

Ritsuka whimpered as Soubi put him down and turned to leave.

"He blames himself, doesn't he?" Emily asked, once they were in the hall and the door was shut behind them.

"yes. I can't seem to make him see that he didn't do anything to disserve this

"You two are together, aren't you?"

Soubi stared at her, stunned.

"Don't worry. I won't tell the police or hold this against you," she paused eyeing him carefully. "because, its obvious that you two truly love each other, and I think he'd brake if he didn't have you to depend on. But if I come over, and his ears are gone before he's eighteen, then your in for it. Once he's released he can move in with you straight away. Now, I have to go I've got to be in court in thirty minutes and the court house is forty five minutes away." she walked away and Soubi reentered the room.

"You're due to be released tomorrow and you are moving in with me then."

"What about my mother? What's going to happen to her?"

"They are going to help her."

"NO! NO!" Ritsuka shrieked. :"They can't! only I can help her by getting my memories back!" he thrashed around on the bed, hands clawing at his flesh.

"Ritsuka! Ritsuka! Ritsuka!" Soubi pinned his arms at his sides "relax its okay."

"NO! NO! I'm hurting her!"

"You're hurting me by letting her hurt you." Soubi's voice was gentle and firm, but he fought to keep the desperation to bring Ritsuka back to reality out of it.

"But I disserve it!"

"No one disserves to be beaten," he watched as reality slowly drifted back into Ritsuka's vision.

"So-Soubi," he whispered tears filling his eyes.

He pulled Ritsuka up into an embrace.

"Everything will be alright I promise don't cry."

But he still cried till he fell asleep. Soubi laid him down, covered him up and left with the intent of moving the rest of Ritsuka's stuff into the new house.


	3. Chapter 3

"Soubi!" Ritsuka shouted as he awoke. "Soubi!" he cried franticly looking around the room.

"Ritsuka, shh. Its okay. I'm here," Soubi soothed, running into the room from the hall and taking one of Ritsuka's hands.

"So-Soubi don't leave me. Stay here please don't ever leave my side promise me you won't!" Ritsuka cried franticly, tears streaming down his face.

"I won't I promise. I'll always be with you"

"When I woke up *hic* you weren't here a-and I thought you were gone."

"I'm sorry Ritsuka I didn't mean to scare you. I won't leave again."

Ritsuka reached out and clung to Soubi's chest as though he would disappear if he let go.

"Last night the doctor came in and said you could be released today. Summer brake starts today so you don't have to worry about school either. I already had kio move your stuff into our new house."

Ritsuka said nothing and tightened his grip on Soubi's shirt. Soubi got the hint that he didn't really want to talk, but continued to gently rub his back the two sat like this until the nurse came in at noon and said she needed to perform a final checkup on ritsuna then he could go home with Soubi.

"I hope you like the house, Ritsuka," Soubi said once they were in the car, on the highway. "Its out in the country I figured a change of senery would be good for you. I arranged it so you wouldn't need to change schools."

"Do you think they'll ever let her go?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know."

Ritsuka stared at the window his face empty.

"Ritsuka don't worry everything will be okay."

"You don't know that."

"Then I'll make it okay."

"How?"

"I'll do everything it takes to let you be happy."

"I don't disserve to be happy. Its all my fault"

"Listen to me Ritsuka, it isn't your fault and I will tell you that as many times as I need to, to make you believe it."

"no! stop lying to me!" Ritsuka clamped his hands over his ears.

"I'm not lying to you Ritsuka you are not to blame"

"Yes I am"

Soubi pulled the car over to the side of the road. "Please Ritsuka tell me what I can do to make you feel better. It hurts me to see you like this"

"Kill me," Ritsuka whispered closing his eyes.

"Ritsuka!" Soubi shouted in shock.

"Please, I can't do this anymore!" Ritsuka cried desperately tears pouring down his cheeks "if you can't then I will!"

"Ritsuka!" Soubi shouted shaking his shoulders.

"Please Soubi just do it!"

"Ritsuka look at me!" his voice dropped to a whisper. "You you can't die. Please I'll do anything to convince you not to do this."

"But Soubi I don't know if I can do this anymore."

Soubi reached over and held him as close as he could, being inside a car.

"Then lean on me. Let me carry some of the weight. You've carried more than your fair share for far too long."

"I can't do that to you Soubi. I cant expect you to do everything for me."

"I want to Ritsuka. I want to do everything I can to help you."

"I don't think you can. I don't think anyone can."

"I'll find a way," Soubi kept his voice level in hopes of calming Ritsuka's, only growing hysterics.

"No, you should just move on and find someone else."

"Ritsuka, no matter what happens, I won't leave you."

"But you should I don't want to hold you back, Soubi."

"You aren't holding me back if anything I'm holding you back."

"But Soubi, I don't disserve you. I only ever cause the ones I love pain."

"Leaving you would cause me more pain than anything else in the world. I won't, no, I can't leave you."

"But why Soubi? Can't you see how much better off you'd be with out me?"

"I couldn't possibly be better off without you."

"Yes you would, stop lying to me!"

"Ritsuka I promise I will never lie to you."

"How do I know you're not lying when you say that?" Ritsuka asked in a trembling voice.

Soubi leaned in and kissed him tenderly. "Because I love you."

Ritsuka's tears stopped the minute the words had left Soubi's mouth.

"Why? How could you possibly love me? How could strong, handsome, caring, beloved you ever love broken, tatted, unattractive loveless me?"

"You know," Soubi whispered, caressing Ritsuka's cheek, "I think those descriptions should be reversed."

Another tear rolled down Ritsuka's cheek. "Oh no, I'm crying again, why am I such a baby?"

"Their's no shame in crying. You've held it in for so long, you've been through so much, but don't worry. I'm here and everything's going to turn out alright."

"No, it won't. you can say that all you want, but that won't make it true."

"Ritsuka-"

"Its too late, I ruined everything two years ago."

"That wasn't your fault. You didn't chose to lose your memory."

"You don't know that!" Ritsuka's hysterics were slowly returning.

"Something pretty bad must have happened for you to chose to lose your memory, and, if that's the case, I hope you don't get your memories back. Because it would only be painful for you."

"No Soubi! Don't say that! I need to get my memories back for mother!"

"Ritsuka, even if you get your memory back, there's no guarantee that would help her. For all we know she could have been this way long before then."

"No! No! You have to be wrong! It has to be my fault! She wouldn't have hit me without having a good reason! She loved me! She must have."

"She sure has a funny way of showing affection then."

"Of course I took away her son."

"No you didn't. You are her son. No matter what she says, you are the real Ritsuka. Even if she says you aren't her Ritsuka, you are Yuiko, Yayoi, and my Ritsuka."

Ritsuka sniffled. "D-do you really mean that, Soubi?"

"Of course, Ritsuka." he lightly kissed Ritsuka's forehead, and cheeks where the tears were before finally, his lips. "I love you, Ritsuka. I love you so much."

"Soubi, I'm scared."

"Why, Ritsuka, what are you afraid of?"

"That you're right. That she won't get better. That I'll never have a family."

"A family doesn't have to be by blood, its just people who love and care about you. So me, Kio, Yuiko, Yayoi, even Natsuo and Youji, we're your family, and we won't ever leave you."

"Really?"

"I promise." Ritsuka closed his eyes for a moment and managed a small smile. "Alright, Soubi, I'll believe you. I sincerely hope you are right."

Soubi smiled and pulled back onto the highway. Ritsuka timidly reached over and grabbed Soubi's hand. He lightly squeezed Ritsuka's hand. "Just remember, I'm here for you.

"I know." He was quiet for a while before he whispered, "I love you, Soubi."

"I love you too."

Things were starting to look up, if only a little.

**a/n: this turned out a lot longer than expected I really enjoy working on this story. Its a lot angst-y-er than anything I've written before though**


	4. Chapter 4

Natsuo and Youji sat on the plush couch in Soubi's new house, talking animatedly about the ride there.

"Could you believe that **cow **on the road?" Youji exclaimed.

"I know it was all like 'Noooo I'ma gonna stand in the middle of the road and there's nothing you can do about it.'" Natsuo laughed.

…

"Wow. This place is huge!" Ritsuka exclaimed upon entering the house.

"Ritsuka!" Natsuo and Youji yelled, tackeling hm in a bone crushing hug.

"How did you guys get here?" Soubi asked.

"Kio left a paper with the adress on it on the counter," the green haired boy started.

"So we 'barrowed' his car and came right over," the marron haired boy finished.

"But what happened?" they both asked simultaneously. "Ritsuka's covered in cuts and brusis."

Soubi looked at Ritsuka. "not right now."

"Soubi, its alright. Maybe talking it over will help."

"Lets head into the kitchen at least."

Soubi put the water on the stove to make tea, while Ritsuka sat down a the table, across from the zeros.

Ritsuka looked to Soubi, his face showed hesitation.

"Its okay if you aren't ready to talk about it yet, but when you are, we'll still be here for you," Soubi told him.

Ritsuka closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "When it started, I was in my room, doing my homework. She broke the locked door in and dragged me down the stairs. She threw me noto a chair, and yelled at me to eat so I did. When she asked me if I liked the food I said yes, but that was the wrong answer."

Ritsuka took a long pause, clearly trying not to cry, before he continued.

"Then she started to beat me. After a while, I just sort of went numb. Once she passed out, I managed to call Soubi. By the time I woke up, I was in the hospital."

After finishing his story, the tears poured out.

"I'm sorry, I'm crying again."

"Don't be sorry," Soubi insisted. "I told you, it's okay for you to cry. No one's going to say anything."

"No, I'm too old to cry. My mother said so."

"Don't listen to that bitch," Natsuo told him.

"Don't call her that!" Ritsuka cried.

"Why not?"

Because it isn't true!"

Just after he yelled that his body began to convolse again.

"Ritsuka!" Soubi called pinning his arms to his sides. "RItsuka! Ritsuka! Look at me! Just calm down and look at me!"

"Soubi, what just happened?" Youji asked when Ritsuka had gone limp in the older man's arms.

"When you stress him out too much, it trigers seazures," Soubi explained. "They started when he was in the hospital."

"Is he alright?"

"He will be. Just, try not to get him so worked up again."

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to," Natsuo whispered.

"I know. I'm going to go lay Ritsuka down in his room, upstairs. We'll talk when I get back."

Soubi carfully lifted the younger princesses style and carried him up to his new room.

When he got back to the kitched, the zeros were sitting at the kitchin table, guiltily looking down at the floor.

"Look I realize you guys didn't mean to," Soubi explained, walking over to the table. "But I'm worried about Ritsuka. And I think youguts would be good to have around him, but not yet. Let me give him a few weeks o ajust to his new life, alright?"

The two boys nodded. "We called kio while you were up stairs. He said we could stay with him."

"We'll head out in a bit."


	5. Chapter 5

Ritsuka's new room was an exact replica of is old on, so when he woke up, a few hours later, he was slightly confused.

"I-it was all a dream. Just a horribal dream," he whispered to himself.

Slowly, he stood up and walked to the door. When he opened it to reveal the hall, he dropped to his knees, sobbing.

"No!" he cried. "This can't be real! It has to be a dream!"

"Ritsuka!" Soubi yelled as he flew up the stairs. "I heard yelling, are you alright?"

"This isn't real! This isn't real! This isn't real!" he wimppered over and over again, squeazed tightly.

"Relax, Ritsuka. Just relax," Soubi whispered, pulling him close.

"S-Soubi please, tell me I'm dreaming."

"No, Ritsuka, you're awake."

"When I woke up I saw my room and I thought, maybe, things would be normal."

"Getting beat like that every day isn't normal."

"Ritsu and Seimei both did worse to you, what's the difference?" Ritsuka snapped bitterly.

"The difference is no one cared about me enough to try and get me out of there. Violence and love are two different things, remember, you taught me that, Ritsuka. I love you, Ritsuka and I don't want to see you hurting any more."

"Can we go downstairs?" Ritsuka when he could speak again. "I'm kinda hungry."

"Of course, Ritsuka. Anything in particular you want?"

Ritsuka shrugged, "Whatever's fine."

Soubi went to stand up, but Ritsuka's arms encircled his neck.

"Um, not to seem childish or anything, but would you carry me?"

"Sure, Ritsuka," Soubi placed one hand on his lower back, and the other under his thighs, so he was sort of sitting, in Soubi's arms.

"I'm sorry I've been acting like this lately."

"Its alright, Ritsuka. I'll always love you, no matter what."

"Even if Seimei ordered you not to?" Ritsuka asked quietly.

"If Seimei ordered that, I would find away around his order, somehow," he replied smiling.

"Didn't you always say 'orders are absolute'? and that 'Seimei's word is law?'"

"It was,"

Ritsuka's expression turned glumly.

"But my name started to fade the day you woke up in the hospital."

"F-fade?" Ritsuka's expression became confused.

"Just like the female zero. What was her name again? Oh yeah! Yamato."

"But why is your name fading?"

Soubi thought for a moment. "I think, because, I don't feel as obligated towards Seimei.

Soubi set Ritsuka down in one of the kitchen chairs, and moved over to the stove. The phone, sitting on the counter, rang

"Hello?" Soubi answered it.

"Hello, Soubi. It's me, Emily Rose. I was wondering if you would mind it I came over for dinner. I would like the chance to talk to Ritsuka more."

"Of course. That's fine."

"Good. I'm already on my way I'll be there in a little bit."

"Okay see you then bye." Soubi hung up the phone, and turned to Ritsuka. "We're going to have dinner soon, if you can wait a bit to eat."

Ritsuka nodded.

"We're having a guest for dinner tonight. Do you remember Emily Rose, your social worker?"

Ritsuka nodded again, glaring as he did so. "She took my mother away," he said bitterly.

"Now, Ritsuka, its not her fault. She wants to help."

"Then, why did she send my mother to jail!"

"Because she didn't want her to hurt you any more."

"She didn't mean to hurt me though! S-she just wasn't in her right mind was all!" Ritsuka justified.

Noticing the spike in his emotion Soubi rushed to clam her down, before it triggered another seizure.

"Ritsuka, please, calm down," Soubi whispered tenderly. "Every things going to be fine. Nothings going to hurt you."

"But she wouldn't hurt me!"

"Then why did she hit you?" Emily Rose asked, as she walked into the room.

"I-I don't know," Ritsuka whispered as he began to tear up.

Soubi glared at the woman.

"Would you rather have him have another seizure?" she asked, sitting in a chair next to Ritsuka, and gently rubbing circles on his back. "If they keep happening this frequently, they could be come dangerous. I know you hate to see him cry, but…"

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Ritsuka yelled.

"I'm sorry, Ritsuka, I'm just worried about you," Soubi sat down and lightly touched the younger's cheek.

"No, Soubi, I don't you to worry about me. I can take care of everything myself."

"We only worry about you, because we care about you," Emily said, her voice tender. "We only want you to be happy."

Ritsuka took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for snapping. For some reason, I've been very on edge lately."

"It's alright, we understand, you're going to be like this for a while."

"We're not going to leave you, Ritsuka," Soubi added. "Not now, not ever."

"S-Soubi, I'm so sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Emily asked.

"Because, its all my fault."

"No, it's not. Sometimes these things just happen." Emily insisted. "So don't blame yourself."

"She's right, Ritsuka," Soubi agreed. "No one blames you."

"But mother dose!" Ritsuka insisted.

"I thought that was because she wasn't in her right mind," Emily threw back. "If she isn't in her right mind, she probably doesn't blame you then."

Ritsuka's eyes filled with hope. "Maybe you're right. Maybe we really can be a real family."

Emily smiled a little. It wasn't much, but it was still some progress, and that was a start.


	6. Chapter 6

Dinner passed mostly in silence, untill Ritsuka spoke up.

"Do you really believe what you said earlier? About my mom?"

Emily turned to him. "I wouldn't have told you that if I didn't think it was possible. However, I can't garente how long it would take if they ever get through to her.

"don't worry, we're going to make everything better. Soon, you'll be happy again," Emily said gently.

Ritsuka stared in disbelief. "I know things have gotten better but how can you promise that so easily?"

"Because I've helped a lot of kids in similar situations. If you want I can arrange for you to talk to some of them. I have a group of them meeting tomorrow."

"I don't know," ritsuka muttered.

"I think you should go, Ritsuka," Soubi said.

"If you come and don't like it you don't have to go again," Emily added.

"Fine," Ritsuka finally agreed "But don't expect me to talk a whole lot."

"That's fine. just come and listen, if you want no one's going to force you to talk." Emily told him. "but, you need to prepare yourself to talk about it. I'm so sorry, but, in a couple of weeks, this is going to have to go to trial, and you're going to have to take the testify," her voice, her personality, it was gentle, nurturing, everything he wished his mother's had been, but never was.

He nearly broke down, but, knowing how much it would have hut Soubi to see him cry again, he held back the tears. "I need to take the stand against her?"

No one said anything, but Soubi took Ritsuka's hand.

"I can't be the reason she goes to jail," he whimpered

"Let me ask you a serious question, and I need you to answer honestly," Emily said touching his arm. "Were you afraid of your mother?"

Ritsuka stared at the floor, but whispered, "Yes."

"Were you afraid to go home?"

"Yes."

She looked at him and said, a little softer, "These are the type of questions they are going to ask you in the stand. When you're up there, just pretend you're talking to me or Soubi."

"Do I have to take the stand?"

"I'm afraid so. Yes. There's no way around it."

"Will she be there?"

"Yes."

Ritsuka sighed and looked down. "I just don't understand."

"What don't you understand?" Emily asked.

"Why she hits me. If what you're telling me is the truth, and it isn't my fault, why does she hit me?"

"I don't know Rit-" she reached out to touch his shoulder.

"Just because I don't remember some things doesn't mean I don't feel!" he began to shake in his anger.

Emily gave him a sympathetic smile. "That's right, Ritsuka, your feelings matter, so make sure you tell us when something's bothering you."

"Even if you don't want to hear about it?"

"Why wouldn't I want to hear about it? I'm here to make sure you're happy. If something's bothering you, even something trivial, I want you to tell me. If it's something you feel like you can't talk to me about, please talk to Soubi. I don't want you to suffer in science anymore." she carefully wrapped her arms around his small frame.

Ritsuka openly broke down in her chest. Soubi rubbed his back and whispered soothing words.

Later on that night, the three of were sitting in the living room, when Soubi suggested Ritsuka go take a bath.

"No!" Ritsuka wailed, trembling. "If I do that, you two are going to try and dround me, just like Mother!"

"Ritsuka," Soubi said, gently. "Do you trust me?"

He nodded without hesitation.

"Do you trust Emily?"

He nodded again.

"Do you think we would do that to you?"

"No," a small smile spread across Ritsuka's face. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I," he trailed off, shaking his head. "I'm going to go take my shower."

"Did you know she'd tried to dround him?" Emily asked, her face pale, once she'd heard the bathroom door shut.

"No. if I had, I would have done something sooner."

"I'm just glad we got him out of there in time. I just can't believe how many times I hear about abused children being beaten to death by their parents, or killing themselves, to escape the pain. It's enough to reduce me to tears every time. I don't understand, what makes them do it."

"I know. If you would have seen the state I found him in," Soubi shook his head. "I just can't believe someone could do that to anyone, let alone a child."

The conversation ended there, leaving them both in their own world of thought.

Ritsuka reentered the room a little while later, dressed in a tee-shirt, and a pair of sweatpants.

"Okay, seeing how well you settled in here, I've got to get going." Emily gave Ritsuka a quick hug. "I'll see you in group. Bye, Soubi."

"See you then, Emily," he replied.

Emily nodded and walked from the house.

"Soubi, do you mind if I go to bed now?" Ritsuka asked quietly.

"You don't have to ask to go to bed. Do you remember where your room is?"

"Yeah," he said. He padded over to Soubi, and lightly kissed his lips. He stared at the ground, for a while, before speaking again, "Will you come back and lay with me? At least until I fall asleep."

Soubi kissed the top of his head between his cat ears. "Of course, Ritsuka, what ever you want."

But Soubi stayed longer than till Ritsuka fell asleep, he stayed the whole night.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, when Ritsuka woke up, he was still curled up at Soubi's side.

"I didn't mean you had to stat the whole night," Ritsuka muttered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I know, but I wanted to," Soubi smiled. "Do you want some breakfast?"

Ritsuka hesitated. "Sure," he finally said. "Can we have pancakes?"

"If you want," he replied, getting up.

Ritsuka got up and followed him down to the kitchen. The two made, and ate breakfast, mostly, in silence, before parting ways to go get ready for Emily's group.

When they got there, they were shocked to learn Soubi wouldn't be able to stay, so he and parted ways, before Emily lead him into the lion's den.

Ritsuka was face to face with five other kids.

A really pretty blond girl, with pale, haunted blue eyes, she sat, rigid, like a deer in head lights.

A black-haired boy, covered in scars and bruises, who sat, leaning back in his chair.

A red-haired girl, with burn marks marring every visible part of her body, was smiling way too cheerfully.

A brown-haired girl in a long-sleeved shirt and long pants, trying to fold in on herself.

All of which appeared to be in there mid teens, except a small, dark-haired girl, who looked to be about seven, and very, very scared.

"Okay, everyone," Emily said, clasping her hands in front of her chest. "For all but one of you, this is your first meeting. So, we're going to go introduce yourself as what you want to be called, and tell us as much as you feel comfortable saying. Bernadette, why don't you start us off, since you've been though this before."

The redhead smiled. "Hello, I'm Bernadette, and two years ago, my mother tried to set me on fire," as she spoke, the right half of her face didn't move. "Don't ask me why, I still haven't figured it out. Any who, I just wanted to tell you guys; I know I know it feels hopeless right now but, trust me, it does get better. And there are people who love you, not what your parents did, wasn't love."

"Thank you, Bernadette. Who wants to go next?" Emily asked.

"M-my name is Roselyn," the terrified blond girl stammered. "And, I'd rather not say much about my past. It's still really hard to talk about."

"My name is Damon and my dad use to pound the crap out of me. Next," the dark-haired boy said.

"My name is Clover," was all the brown-haired girl said.

The little dark-haired girl said nothing.

"My name is Ritsuka," he began quietly. "And my mom would beat me because she didn't think I was her real son," he paused. "I only managed to get out, because a neighbor reported her. Now , I'm living with a close friend."

Emily clasped her hands together. "Now that were all acquainted, how do you feel about your new homes?"she asked. "If you don't want to say it in front of everyone, you can talk to me about it later."

Bernadette raised her hand. "My new dads' are great, even if papa Hiroki always seems mad."

"Would you like me to talk to him about it?"

"No, it's just his personality type, he means well."

"I see. Anyone else?"

No one moved to talk.

"That's alright, were almost out of time anyway. See you all next week.

They all stood to leave.

"Ritsuka," Emily called. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Ritsuka nodded and hung back.

"I just wanted to make sure everything was really okay with you and ," she said.

Ritsuka smiled. "Yeah, he's great."

"You're sure you're happy there?"

"Oh yes!"

"Okay. Good. That's all I wanted to talk to you about. You can go, I don't want to keep you waiting."

Ritsuka nodded and headed out the door. He quickly spotted Soubi and immediately ran over to hug him.

"aren't you in a good mood today," Soubi commented, running a hand through Ritsuka's hair.

"I've missed you," he murmured.

Soubi's eyes widened. "But, Ritsuka, it's only een an hour since I last saw you."

"I know, but I still missed you."

"I missed you too," Soubi whispered.

Finally Ritsuka released Soubi from the hug. "I'm sorry I've been so clingy lately, it must be annoying."

"Its alright. I don't mind. In fact, I'm glad you feel like you can depend on me,' Soubi said gently.

Ritsuka looked down guiltily.

"Do you want to go out for lunch?" Soubi asked.

"actually, can we go home? There's something I need to tell you. Its kind of important."

"Of course, Ritsuka."

They climbed into the car and drove away in silence, while Ritsuka stared down at his hands.

Once they were in the house, Ritsuka asked Soubi to sit down on the couch and stood in front of him.

"Do you remember when you had finals and couldn't come over for a while?" he asked quietly.

Soubi nodded.

"Someone else showed up,"his eyes were locked on the ground as he whispered the name.

"Ritsuka, soubi said, sympathetically. "Why didn't you tell me Seimei came."

"Please, let me finish. I'm sorry, but he…" Ritsuka reached up and lightly tugged on one og his ears, it came off in his hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to, he forced me."

Soubi stared stunned for a moment before asking, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to remind you od what happened with Ritsu," Ritsuka whispered, looking down. "I'm sorry this happened."

"No, id anyone's sorry, it should be me. I left you alone, knowing seimei was out there, and knowing he was after you. I'm sorry, Ritsuka," Soubi insisted, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Its not your fault," Ritsuka whispered, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

"No, Ritsuka kit is. All of this is." He led Ritsuka to sit next to him on the couch. "I let you stay some where I knew you weren't safe. I left you alone, when I knew there was someone out there who wanted to hurt you."

"Soubi, stop." Ritsuka interjected. "I refused to leave that hause and I insisted you goto your finials."

"But I didn't have to listen."

"Subi," Ritsuka rook a deep breath, and took Soubi'd hand in his own. "I don't like it when you blame yourself. It hurts me to hear you talk like that." he closed his eyes and thought for a moment. "Let's both aggree to stop blaming ourselves."

Soubi hesitated, bt seeing the despret look in his eyes agreed.

"Thank you. Today I realized it wasnt my fault, and ive always known it isn't your fault."

"Ritsuka, what did I ever do to deserve someone as good as you?"

"Don't say that Soubi!" Ritsuka insisted. "You're an amazing person why can't you see that. You want me to depend on you, so depend on me."

"this isn't how this was suppose to go. You shouldn't have to worry about me so much," shoubi said, shaking his head.

"I worry because I love you," Ritsuka whispered, gently touching Soubi's cheek.

His eyes went wide.

"We're both broken, Soubi, and the only way we can grow is together," Ritsuka insisted.

Soubi sighed. "I just wish you could have had a normal childhood."

"I wish you could have too, but the past is over. And theirs no use in worrying about it."

"What happened in gtoup?"Soubi askied. "you seem so much happier now."

"I just realized how much worse things could have been and how lucky I am now."

"how can you say that after everything that's happened?"

"because, today I met people who has it worse. No matter how I felt at the time, I always had you through it all, which is a lot more than most people in my situation have."

"Ritsuka," soubi whispered. "I'm so glad to have met you."

"Me too," Ritsuka smiled. "if it weren't for you I don't even want to think about where id be."

Soubi looked down. "There;'s something I havent wold you. Don't get mad when you hear this, but it was me who called the cops on your mother."

"You?" Ritsuka said, voice full of confusion. "But I don't understand. You promised."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but, when I found you there that day, and I knew what she'd done to you, I was afraid you'd die if I let you go back to her," Soubi quickly justified.

"But you promised! I trusted you and you lied to me!" Ritsuka's tone was more surprise than anger.

"I know, but I only because couldn't bear the thought of you dyeing. Ritsuka, please don't be mad." Soubi took his had and waited for a reaction.

"I guess I understand," ritsuak said, crossing his arms. "I wish you would have told me though."

"I'm sorry I just wanted to get you out of there as soon as possible."

"Was it that bad? I mean compared to some of the stories I heard, it seems like I was pretty lucky."

"I'm not so sure, Ritsuka you were hospitalized. while you were unconscious, they had to perform emergency surgery."

"But face it, it could have been a lot worse. I made it out alive, their was no permanent scaring and now I live with someone who loves and cares about me. That;s a lot more than most people have."

"But you deserve so much better. Better than her. Better than me. Better than this."

"This is more than I could have asked for already," Ritsuka whispered smiling.

**a/n: do you think I should end it here?**


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